This is the Path by Ajahn Dtun (Q and A)

This is the Path by Ajahn Dtun (Q and A)

Q: I told my mother that I would be with her, to help her when she is about to pass away. Can you please advise me as to how I can help her in her dying moments?

A: At this moment, while she is still alive, you should be taking the best possible care of her. In doing so you would be repaying some of your debt of gratitude to her, for she has taken great care of you right from when you were in her womb and throughout your life up until adulthood. 

This debt of gratitude that we have to our parents is immense. Sometimes we may try to repay it for our whole life and still be unable to fully do so.

Before I ordained, I sometimes thought that I would work and then try to financially assist my father; however, I came and ordained and so I would sometimes think, ‘How will I ever repay my debt of gratitude to my father?’ I felt that even if I was to find money, wealth and possessions to give him, I would still be unable to fully repay my debt to him. 

So I found a shortcut: I encouraged him to come and ordain, so that I would be able to take good care of him, meet his needs as he got older and also give advice on the Dhamma. I felt that if I could give him good advice about his Dhamma practice, this would be fully repaying my debt of gratitude to him.

My father was a person who had wholesome views and a strong faith in the Buddha’s teaching, so he ordained and lived with me for sixteen years. He died about two years ago and I was able to talk to him until the very last moments. I do feel that I was able to truly repay my debt to him.

If we look for material things and wealth to repay our debt to our parents, we cannot completely repay it. 

The way to do so is to give the Dhamma to our parents and to set them on the right course in Dhamma practice. This is the way to repay our debt of gratitude towards them.

If you feel a sense of gratitude towards your mother, this is very good. You should take the greatest care of her. Right now, you should teach her to practice meditation. If she shows strong attachment towards her body, teach her ways to gradually let go of this attachment. 

Teach her to contemplate the truth that these bodies of ours are not within our command, and that it is the elements of the body going out of balance that causes aging, sickness and death to occur. She should contemplate like this to make her mind quiet, practicing as time avails. 

When the moment of death comes, you should instruct her to use her mindfulness and wisdom to contemplate the body so as not to attach to it, but rather just let it go on its natural course. 

Having made the mind be at peace, she should then focus upon her meditation object. 

All of us here in this room should be practicing this contemplation of death, not leaving it until the moment of death comes. 

Just look at boxers: they have to train before going up into the ring for the real fight, they do not just go up there unpracticed. Athletes also must train before competing. 

The same goes for us: we have to practice and get an understanding of death before death actually comes to us. Consequently, we have to practice contemplating the body and death every day.

~•~•~•~

From This is the Path by Ajahn Dtun

https://www.abhayagiri.org/media/books/dtun_this_is_the_path.pdf