The Teaching of Ajahn Suchart.
27 April 2024
Question: I lose my mindfulness when anger overwhelms me. And when I am angry, the level of anger is so intense. Why my anger is so intense and what object of meditation is suitable for my temperament?
Than Ajahn: Well, your anger is caused by your desire, either you want something or you want people to do something. When you don’t get what you want or people don’t do what you want them to do, you become angry. One way to manage it is to lessen your desire, and just let other people be; leave other people alone; don’t expect anything from other people, then your anger will not arise.
When anger arises, what you need to have is strong enough mindfulness to get rid of it. If you cannot stop your mind with mindfulness, then you have to recite a mantra. When you’re angry, don’t keep thinking about the person or the thing that makes you angry, but try to forget it by keep reciting a mantra, ‘Buddho, Buddho, Buddho.’ If you can recite a mantra for a few minutes, you’ll forget what makes you angry and your anger will disappear.
In order to be able to recite a mantra at the time when you need it, you must first practice reciting the mantra.
It’s like running. If you are not used to running, when you suddenly have to run, you might find it rather difficult to do. But if you keep practicing running, when you have to run, you’ll find it easy to do.
It’s the same thing with swimming, or with using a mantra to get rid of your anger. You need to practice reciting the mantra first. If you don’t practice it beforehand, when you’re angry, you’ll find it difficult or impossible to recite the mantra because your mind is so intense on the thing that makes you angry so it won’t let you go and recite the mantra. But if you keep practicing the mantra until your mind becomes adept or attuned with the mantra, anytime when you need the mantra, the mantra will come up and you can keep reciting it.
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Question: How to clear the misunderstanding from other persons, especially friends?
Than Ajahn: You have to communicate. You have to talk to the person if you have any misunderstanding.
Layperson: Yeah, but the other persons don’t want to share about their misunderstanding.
Than Ajahn: Ok, no need to clear it. Forget about it.
You just live your life and let them live their lives. If they don’t want to clear it, what can you do? So, don’t worry about it. This is the way it is. Some people are willing to clear the matter and some people want to hold grudges. There is nothing you can do.
Question: How can I deal with my anger?
Than Ajahn: If you are angry with other people, you should forgive them. If they make you angry and you can forgive them, then your anger will disappear. Your anger arises because you are not happy with what they’ve done to you and you want to take revenge. But if you have compassion or if you have loving-kindness, then you just forgive them. Just look at it as a normal thing that is happening in life. Sometimes, people run into each other and got into problems, but once it has already happened, it’s useless to think about it. If you can forget about it, then your bad feelings will disappear.
So, one way you can do if you cannot forgive them is to use a mantra to forget about the matter. When you think and become angry, then you stop thinking. When you stop thinking, your anger will disappear. Ok?
If you can clear any misunderstanding with them, then clear the matter with them like say sorry to them.
But some people don’t want to hear it. If they don’t want to hear it, then just forget about it and just leave each other alone. If they don’t like you, it’s ok. You stay away from them.
“Dhamma in English, May 28, 2019.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
YouTube: Dhamma in English.
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