When we make merit, we can dedicate it to our loved ones - hoping that our parents, siblings, husbands, wives, and friends can be happy and free from suffering. [This is something praiseworthy.]
However, do not make the determination to be reborn or to die with anybody. Even if it is someone you love the most. For example, if the person you made the vow to be with lifetime after lifetime was like Phra Devadatta, happened to fall into Avici Hell, are you going to spend tens of thousands of years waiting for him to get out? Even if you want to go to Nibbana first, you can't, due to the power of the determination which binds you.
Those who wish to take birth with and become a disciple of a Buddha, attaining enlightenment together. If the Buddha [Bodhisatta] did not accept your vow in the past, it would not be possible. Instead, he would advise you to let go of your defilements. However, those who have affinity with the Bodhisatta can be reborn as his disciples in his final birth and attain Nibbana together.
However, that we are all born during the Dispensation of a Buddha is still good (Buddha Sasana: meaning when the Dhamma still exists and the Buddha isn't forgotten yet).
Nonetheless, even though we are all disciples of the Buddha - we aren't the same. Just like how people born in the same year and same month may turn out totally different.
Some people may be quick to commit unskillful kamma like killing animals, drinking alcohol or taking drugs. They don't practice the Dhamma or seek out monks for instruction. The only time they look for the Sangha is when they are sick and suffering, and ask for the monks to help them relieve their pain.
But how can the Phra help you when you didn't make merit when you were healthy? Now when you are close to death, you can't recover. Nobody can help you.
Kruba Chaiyawongsa
Wat Phra Phutthabat, Huai Tom,
Li District, Lamphun Province
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