Ajahn Dtun & Attractiveness of Girls
“One day at university I was sitting talking with some friends when I noticed a university bus pull in to let its passengers off. As some girls got off the bus and walked passed where I was sitting, one girl caught my attention because I thought she was attractive. I thought to myself, ‘If she remains beautiful for more than three months I will try to get to know her.’ But upon seeing her again on another day she didn’t look the same as before, on this day she no longer looked beautiful because she had changed her hair style, and so I never did get to know her.
On another occasion I saw a different girl whom I felt attracted to because she was also good looking, and again I thought if she is still beautiful after three months I will try to get to know her, but on a later day upon seeing her again she no longer looked attractive because she dressed differently.
As it turned out there wasn’t one girl in the entire university who could remain attractive for more than three months, and so I never did get to know any of them. I thought to myself that I will associate with females only platonically and wait until I’ve finished my studies and have a job before considering starting a relationship. Every girl that I thought was beautiful would, on seeing them only a few times, quickly appear not to be so. As a result I no longer felt interested in females. It wasn’t until I ordained that I understood that my feelings and way of viewing things whilst being a student was based on insight (vipassana) that is, seeing the mutable nature of human beings or physical phenomena.
Not long after this I saw a friend of mine arguing with his girlfriend. Whilst arguing the girl’s face didn’t look at all attractive. I asked myself, ‘Where exactly should I find attraction in a woman?’…
Book: Autobiography of Ajahn Dtun
30 January 2023
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