Ajahn Sumedho

Ajahn Sumedho 

In London, I used to get very upset when travelling on the underground. I used to hate it, those horrible underground stations with ghastly advertising posters and great crowdsof people on those dingy, grotty trains which roar along the tunnels. I used to feel a total lack of mettā. I used to feel so averse to it all, then I decided to practise being patient and kind while travelling on the London Underground. Then I began to really enjoy it, rather than dwelling in resentment. I began to feel kindly towards the people there. The aversion and the complaining all disappeared – totally.

When you feel aversion towards somebody, you can notice the tendency to start adding to it, ‘He did this and he did that, and he’s this way and he shouldn’t be that way.’ Then when you really like somebody, ‘He can do this and he can do that. He’s good and kind.’ But if someone says, ‘That person’s really bad!’ you feel angry. If you hate somebody and someone else praises him, you also feel angry. You don’t want to hear how good your enemy is. When you are full of anger, you can’t imagine that someone you hate may have some virtuous qualities; even if they do have some good qualities, you can never remember any of them. You can only remember all the bad things. When you like somebody, even his faults can be endearing – ‘harmless little faults.’

So recognise this in your own experience; observe the force of like and dislike. Practising patience and kindness is a very useful and effective instrument for dealing with all the petty trivia which the mind builds up around unpleasant experience. Mettā is also a very useful method for those who have discriminative, very critical minds. 

They can see only the faults in everything, but they never look at themselves, they only see what’s ‘out there.’

It is now very common to always be complaining about the weather or the government. Personal arrogance gives rise to these really nasty comments about everything; or you start talking about someone who isn’t there, ripping them apart, quite intelligently, and quite objectively. You are so analytical, you know exactly what that person needs, what they should do and what they should not do, and why they’re this way and that. 

Very impressive to have such a sharp, critical mind and know what they ought to do. You are, of course, saying, ‘Really, I’m much better than they are.’ 

But with mettā, you are not blinding yourself to the faults and flaws in everything. You are just peacefully co-existing with them. You are not demanding that it be otherwise.

So mettā sometimes needs to overlook what’s wrong with yourself and everyone else – it doesn’t mean that you don’t notice those things, it means that you don’t develop problems around them. You stop that kind of indulgence by being kind and patient – peacefully co-existing.

Source: Mindfulness: The Path to the Deathless

Chapter: Kindness

By AJAHN SUMEDHO

22nd October, 2022