Human Life and Problems Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda

Human Life and Problems
Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda

MANNERS AND CUSTOMS

Manners may be defined as behaviour appropriate to living well in society. For various good reasons certain traditions have been handed down, and only very thoughtless persons would consider it worthless to follow those rules which guide us in our social relations to each other. 

Goethe wisely said, 'A man is really alive only when he delights in the goodwill of others'. An ancient motto, 'Manners maketh a man' still holds good even to this day.

The standards for what are considered good manners differ among people belonging to different ethnic groups and societies.

We discover the peculiarities of the manners and customs prevailing in other societies when we travel abroad. We should not prejudge other peoples' manners and custom too quickly, and decide what is proper or improper. In themselves, manners are neither good nor bad, but when they cause ill feelings in others, then this can be considered as bad manners.

We are living in an ever-changing world. We should not cling blindly to the traditions, customs, manners, rites and rituals practised by our forefathers or ancestors who adopted these practices according to beliefs and conditions prevalent during their time. Some customs or traditions handed down by our ancestors may be good, while others may be less useful. We should consider with an open mind whether these practices are congenial and relevant to the modern world.

Among members of the Chinese community emphasis is laid on continuity of the family tradition and there is great reverence for the wisdom of the elders. Ancestor worship is very ancient (dating from the second millennium BC). Life is essentially a family affair, involving prayers and offerings before tablets in the home and in ancestral temples, with an elaborate system of burial and mourning, rituals and the visiting of graves as a mark of deep respect. 

Ethically, their primary virtue is filial piety - an obligation to serve and honour parents and forebears without any sense of fear or gain. Such respect inevitably results in strong social solidarity within the family. Confucius, was very concerned with this reverence for the wisdom of the elders. Respect for the elders is another ancient tradition in India, China and some other countries.

On the other hand good conduct such as kindness, patience, tolerance, honesty and generosity also cannot eradicate certain problems because cunning people can take undue advantage of the good qualities of others. Therefore good qualities must be practised wisely.

Social welfare workers are trying to wipe out human problems. But their contribution also can only minimise certain problems. Some others try to settle human problems by distributing the wealth and revenue of a country equally amongst the public in so-called socialist societies. It seems that their method is also not very effective to settle human problems and has failed in many countries, since selfishness, cunningness, laziness and many other shortcomings can upset the situation.

Modern scientific education has in fact created more problems rather than promoting peace, happiness and security. Governments try to maintain peace and order by punishing those who disobey the law. But all over the world, evil and immoral practices are spreading rapidly.

Ignorant people resort to charms, magic, supernatural powers and mantras to overcome their problems. 

But nobody knows just how far they can succeed through such beliefs and practices.

Some use violent methods to gain what they need to settle their problems. Some others try to settle human problems by improving people's lives through financial aid.

Certain religious authorities on the other hand try to settle these problems by illustrating the concept of a paradise to create temptation and to frighten people by threatening them with hell-fire.

Whatever method people adopt to avoid their problems, they have to face more and more new problems in their day-to-day lives. The reason for this situation is that they have not realised that the main cause of most of their problems is the untrained mind and selfish desires or uncertain worldly conditions.

When we study the life of primitive people, we can see that they have to face relatively few problems. 

These problems are mostly related only to their need for survival. But in the so-called civilised societies of today many of our problems are due not to our desire to continue living but because we seek too much sensual pleasures. Many people believe that the purpose of their lives is only for self-gratification.

10 January 2023