The teachings of Ajahn Suchart.
“In Buddhism, what’s more important is not ‘free speech’, but how your speech will affect other people.”
Male: “I translated many of your talks to French. About 95% of the people who read them are happy and they said they’ve learnt a lot from the talks. But there are about 5% of them who are not happy. And being foreigners, they are very outspoken about it.”
Than Ajahn: “For foreigners, whether it’s ‘For or Against’. These people already have the preconceived notion and they would not want to listen to what you say.”
Male: “How should I reply to these people who sent aggressive messages?”
Than Ajahn: “Just ignore them. Just let them rant their own anger. Because you initiated the topic, so they want to send it back to you. No need to reply them, unless if you think by replying them, you can clarify their misconception. However, if you know that they don’t want to listen to you, then you don’t have to reply them. Just get them out of your system. Don’t send them any more messages.
Dhamma is the same like any other products, like food. Not 100% of people will like the food or the products that you manufacture. Somebody will like the products and somebody will not like the products.
It depends on their likes or dislikes. They’ve been programed to like something and to dislike something.
So, when they come into contact with something they’ve been programed to dislike, they will dislike it.
You cannot avoid it. You don’t have to be sad or be disappointed by it. This is just the way things are. This is the way how people are.”
Male: “But sometimes they don’t show respect to you.”
Than Ajahn: “So what? It’s because they are blind. They don’t know what respect is. They don’t see that it reflects on how bad they are. You should pity them rather than get angry at them.
You should look at them like small children who have yet to learn. So, don’t get mad at them.
They don’t have the wisdom or the knowledge of how to behave themselves towards other people. Part of it is also because the Western society is thought to be able to express freely on how they feel. It’s called, ‘free speech.’ But they don’t know that ‘free speech’ can sometimes hurt other people.
In Buddhism, what’s more important is not ‘free speech’, but how your speech will affect other people. If what you say will hurt other people, then you shouldn’t say it; or if it is wrong if you say it, like if you’re lying and it will hurt other people, then you should not say it. But if you say the truth and it hurts other people, then it’s not your problem. If people cannot accept the truth, it’s their problem.
However, if you know by saying the truth is going to hurt others, then you don’t have to say it.
You just don’t say anything. Just keep quiet. You don’t have to express everything you feel. It’s better to be loving to each other than hating each other by expressing freely on how you feel.
Your feeling is momentary. It’s your emotion and it can be gone soon. But what you said to others will last much longer, or it may last for a life time.
When you say one wrong word, the other person could hate you for the rest of your life. But if you don’t say that wrong word, a few minutes later, the word will disappear from your mind and you can still have a good relationship with that person.
So, as long as we still have to live with other people, it’s better to have a good relationship than to have the ability to express your feeling. It’s because we have to live together. It’s better to live happily together than living together and hating each other.”
From “Dhamma in English to layperson from France, Mar 5-8, 2018.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
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