Responsibilities ~ by Ven Dr K Sri Dhammananda

RESPONSIBILITIES ~ by Ven Dr K Sri Dhammananda 

We are all inclined to blame others for our own shortcomings and misfortunes. Have you ever given a thought that you yourself could be responsible for your own problem? Your sorrow has nothing to do with a family curse or the original sin of an ancestor. Neither is it the work of a god or a devil. Your sorrow is of your own making. You are therefore your own jailor and your own liberator. At the same time, you create your own hell and your own heaven. You have the potentiality of becoming a sinner or a saint. No other person can make you a sinner or a saint.

You must learn to shoulder the responsibilities of your own life. You have to learn to admit your own weaknesses without blaming or disturbing others. Remember the old saying:

The uncultured man always blames others; the semi-cultured man blames himself and the fully-cultured man blames neither.'

Whenever any problem arises, we as understanding people should try to find out ourselves where the mistake lies without blaming anybody. If each person could try to correct himself, there would not be any trouble or conflict in this world. But people just do not make the effort to improve their understanding by acting unbiasedly. They prefer to find scapegoats. They look outside of themselves for the source of their troubles because they are reluctant to admit their own weaknesses.

Man's mind is given to so much self-deceit that he will try to find some excuse to justify his action so as to create an illusion that he is blameless. The Buddha says:

'Easily seen are other's faults; hard indeed it is to see one's own faults.' Dh.

To hide their weaknesses with disclaimers for mistakes, many people adopt an aggressive attitude towards others thinking that by so doing, they can avoid the shameful situation or the cause of the complaint against them. They do not realise that such an attitude would only create more problems for themselves besides giving rise to an unhealthy atmosphere all around.

You must admit when you are wrong. Do not follow the ways of the uncultured who always blame others. The Buddha further says:

'The fool who does not admit he is a fool, is a real fool. And the fool who admits he is a fool is wise to that extent.' (Dhammapada)

You are responsible for the sorrow that comes to you. When you allow even minor incidents to irk and overturn your mind, that in itself will give rise to your sorrow. You must understand that it is not that something is wrong with the world, but that something is wrong with all of us.