“Basically mettā is to make other people happy.”

The Teachings of Ajahn Suchart.

7th July, 2022

“Basically mettā is to make other people happy.”

Question:  How to practise mettā?

Than Ajahn:  Mettā means to be kind, to be loving to other human beings and animals. 

When you meet other people, you should give them love and kindness. You don’t show any hatred or any cruelty towards other people. 

You radiate mettā not only in thoughts but also in your actions, like you come here and donate some money, this is mettā. If you come and give me poison, this is not mettā. When you make other people happy, like buying birthday cake on someone’s birthday, or say good things and do good things to other people, this is mettā. 

Another aspect of mettā is to forgive. 

When someone does something wrong to you, you should forgive him or her, similarly if someone hurts you, you still want to make him or her happy. Basically mettā is to make other people happy. You are not giving mettā by chanting, like chanting the verse Sabbe satta avera hontu is not considered as giving mettā.

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Question:  I find it hard to meet people and situations that are difficult. I feel like I start to get judgemental, and I would like to exchange this judging attitude for metta, but I think it is really hard.

Than Ajaan: I think you should instead change your attitude towards things and other people. 

You should see them as things that you cannot expect anything from. Try not to expect anything from things or people. Just take them as they are. 

Don't expect anything, because when you expect, you become disappointed. You expect people to smile at you, but if they don't, you become disappointed. You expect people to be nice to you, but when they don't act nice to you, you again become disappointed. 

So don't expect anything from anybody. Just go through life expecting only what you can do for yourself. 

Don't expect anything from other people. Just do what you have to do, and then try to find the time to be by yourself to meditate. I think that is better. Don't expect to get anything from anybody because whatever you get is not worth the time you spent going after it. You should only go after your meditation. Okay? Understand? 

If you don't expect anything, then you won't feel bad. Even with the weather conditions, you cannot expect anything because you cannot tell the weather what you want. Take it as it is, as it comes. Take things as they come and don't expect anything.

By Ajaan Suchart Abhijāto

www.phrasuchart.com

Youtube: Dhamma in English

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi_BnRZmNgECsJGS31F495g