“When you meditate with mindfulness, your mind will become neutral. It will just be aware but it will not react to what it is being aware of.”
Question from Las Vegas: “I have been dealing with a lot of people who have been making me very irritated and I am starting to dislike them. What can I do to get rid of this dislike for them?”
Than Ajahn: “You have to look at them as if they are part of nature. They are like the sun and the rain. You cannot control them. You cannot tell them to come or go. You just have to accept them for what they are.
If people say something that irritates you, don’t blame them. Blame yourself because you don’t like the way they say it or the things they say. You know that you cannot force them to say or do things the way you want them to say or do. You have to treat all things as if they are part of nature. They are like weather – the rain, the wind, the sun. They can come and go in different forms. Sometimes it rains. Sometimes the wind blows. Sometimes the sun shines. This is the same way with people. You cannot force them to do what you want them to do.
If you don’t want to get irritated, you’ll have to accept them, embrace them. Your choice is to be irritated or not to be irritated. If you don’t want to be irritated, then just accept them like you accept the wind, the rain, the sun, the day, the night. They come and go. You live with them as they come. This is the same way with people and things that you come into contact with.
You have to train your mind to be neutral, not to react to everything that you come into contact with. This is why you need to meditate. When you meditate with mindfulness, your mind will become neutral. It will not be reactive. It will just be aware but it will not react to what it is being aware of.”
Question: “The reason I asked is because it’s normally done intentionally like malicious talks even while I’m kind to them.”
Than Ajahn: “It’s still the same whether they have intention or they don’t have intention. To you, it’s the same. It’s something you cannot prevent or something you cannot control. So, you have to look at them as part of nature.
Youtube video: “Dhamma in English, Q&A Aug 15, 2018.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
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