Teaching of Luang Ta Maha Bua

Teaching of Luang Ta Maha Bua

Question: By being a Buddhist has caused my friends to talk about me. 

They say that at one time I used to be a person full of fun and high spirits, and that now I am the exact opposite. 

I have lost a lot of friends and even my wife misunderstands me and disagrees with me. How can I solve this problem?

Luang Ta Maha Bua: Being a Buddhist does not mean that one must be quiet or look solemn. If friends try to get you to go in a way which is unwholesome, and you are observing the moral precepts (sila) you should not follow them. You might lose your friends but you will not lose yourself. 

If you are satisfied that you have gone the way of wholesomeness, you should consider the Buddha as an example. 

He was a prince who had a large retinue and many friends. He renounced the world, gave up those friends, and went to dwell alone for many years. After he had attained Enlightenment, he was surrounded by friends and had many disciples who were arahants (pure ones), monks as well as nuns, laymen and laywomen, until the number of Buddhists was more than the population of the world.

We all believe in the teachings of the Buddha, which unites the hearts and minds of all Buddhists. We therefore should not be afraid of having no friends.

We should think, first of all, that our friends do not yet understand us, and so they drift away and no longer associate with us. Our way of practice in the way of wholesomeness still remains, however. One should see this — and that there are still good people in the world! 

Good people eventually meet and become friends with other good people, and these good people will be our friends. If there are no good people in the world, and if there is nobody interested in associating with us, then we should associate with the Dhamma — with Buddho, Dhammo, and Sangho in our hearts, which is better than friends who are not interested in goodness at all. Buddho, Dhammo, and Sangho are friends which are truly excellent.

Ordinarily, those good friends of yours will come back to you. You should therefore rest assured that if your heart is satisfied that you are going in a wholesome direction, then that is enough. You should not be concerned with or worry about others more than yourself. You should be responsible for yourself in the present and in the future, for there is nobody but yourself who can raise you up to a higher level.

Sunday, 9th June 1974

Dhammapadipa Vihara, London

Translated by Phra Paññavaddho