You Are responsible For Your Relationship With Others

You Are responsible For Your Relationship With Others

Remember that whatever happens to you cannot feel hurt if you know how to keep a balanced mind. You are hurt only by the mental attitude that you adopt towards yourself and towards others. If you show a loving attitude towards others, you will receive a loving attitude in return. 

If you show hatred, you will undoubtedly never receive love in return. An angry man breathes out poison and he hurts himself more than others. Anyone who is wise not to be angered by anger will not be hurt. Remember that no one can hurt you unless you allow others to hurt you. 

Of another person blames or scolds you, but you follow the Dhamma (truth), then that Dhamma will protect you from unjust attacks.

The Buddha says:- “Whoever harms a harmless person, one pure and guiltless, upon that very fool the evil recoils like fine dust thrown against the wind.”

If you allow others to fulfill their wishes in hurting you, you are responsible.

Blame Not Others-Accept Responsible

You must learn to guard your mind by maintaining a proper perspective so that any external happenings cannot affect your equilibrium. You are in the tight corner. You must not blame circumstances when things go wrong. 

You must mot think that you are unlucky, the victim of fate, or of somebody else’s ill-will. 

No matter what reason you give, you must not try to evade self-responsibility for your own actions instead of laying the blame on circumstances. Try to solve your problems without showing a sour face. In times of difficulty work cheerfully under the most trying circumstances. Be courageous to accept change if change is necessary but be serene enough to accept what you cannot change. Be wise enough to understand the worldly conditions which are common to everybody. 

Be wise enough to face certain problems without being frustrated and unhappy. 

The difficulties are for you overcome. 

Those who try to do some service to others earn more blame than those who do not serve, but this does not mean they must be discouraged. They should have the wisdom to realize that selfless service brings its own reward.

“Love without knowledge and knowledge without love cannot produce a good life.” B. Russel.

You Are Responsible For Your Inner Peace

You must learn how to protect whatever inner peace and calm you have managed to create within your mind. To preserve the inner peace, you must know when to surrender yourself; you must know when to throw away your pride, when to subdue your false ego, when to change your adamant attitude or false conviction and when to practise patience. You should not allow others to take away your inner peace, and you can preserve your inner peace if you know how to act wisely. Wisdom comes through recognition of ignorance.

“Man is not a fallen angel, but a arising animal.”

The Correct Attitude Towards Criticism

You must learn how to guard yourself from unjust criticism and how to make use of constructive criticism. You must look objectively at criticism that others give to you. 

If the criticism that comes to you is just, well-founded and given with good intention, then accept that criticism and put it to use. 

However, if the criticism that comes to you is unjust and ill-founded and given with bad intention, you are under no obligation to accept this kind of criticism. If you know that your attitude is correct and appreciated by wise and cultured people, then do not worry about ill-founded criticism. 

Your understanding of both constructive and destructive criticism is important.

The Buddha says:- “There is no one who is not blamed in this world.”

Expect Nothing And Nothing Will Disappoint You

You can protect yourself from disappointments by not having any undue expectations. If you expect nothing, then nothing can disappoint you. Do not expect reward for the good that you have done. Do good for the sake of doing good with kindness. 

If you can help others without expecting any kind of a reward, then you can have no disappointment. You can be a great man! The happiness that appears in your mind for the good that you have done, is in itself a big reward. That happiness creates satisfaction in our life.

Perhaps you are person who is good by nature and you do not do any harm to others. But you get blamed by others despite doing good. You have to face difficulties and disappointment even though you  have always helped others and have done good for others. Then you might ask, “If good begets good and bad begets bad, why should I have to suffer when I am completely innocent? Why should I have to undergo so many difficulties? Why should I get so many disappointments? Why should I get blamed by others despite my good work? 

The simple answer is when you do some good deeds you have to face certain evil forces. If not, you are facing a bad karma that is ripening in the present.

Continue with your good work and you will eventually be free from such troubles. 

Remember that you have created your own disappointments and you alone can overcome these disappointments, by realizing the nature of Karma (action and reaction) and the worldly conditions as explained by the Buddha.

“If you can protect yourself, you can protect others.”

Gratitude Is A Rare Virtue

The Buddha considered gratitude as a great virtue, yet it is very rare: Yes, it is true that this virtue is rare in any society. You cannot always expect other people to be grateful for what you have done for them. People are inclined to be forgetful especially when it comes to remembering favours. If you expect gratitude from others, you will perhaps have to meet disappointment. If people fail to show gratitude, learn to accept them as such – then you can avoid disappointment. You can be happy regardless of whether people are grateful or ungrateful for your kindness or help; you need only think that you have done your duty as a human being to your fellow beings. 

That should be the only reward you should seek.

“He who knows that enough, will always have enough.” (Lao Tse)