Dhamma Question and Answers

Dhamma Question and Answers

Question: I am tired of failing. Failing to maintain mindfulness, failing to remain centered and at ease in the face of irritation, anger, sensual desire, and laziness. I am starting to think that my Theravada practice is not compatible with living the householder's life. Can anyone offer some insight, readings, dhamma talks, etc. that might strengthen my resolve to stay on the path? 

Metta to all.

Reflections 1

“There’s a passage in the Dhammapada where the Buddha says that life as a householder is difficult, life as a monk gone forth is difficult. Then he ends by saying, “So be neither.” Of course, what he means by that is to find a way of not having to be anything at all. That requires practice. It’s a skill — the skill we’re working on right here, the skill that takes you out of having to live the household life or have to live the life of a monk. Without this skill, those are the only choices you have. Derived from them are lots of other little choices, but they’re all trapped inside those two categories.

What we’re looking for is a path of practice that leads to freedom from any kind of category at all. As the Buddha said, what you are is limited, measured by what you cling to. So the path beyond categories has to be a path that gets rid of clinging. When you hold onto the body, that’s what you are. When you hold onto any of the other aggregates, you’re classified as a feeling-clinger, a perception-clinger, a mental-fabrication-, or consciousness-clinger. You create your identity by what you cling to. This is why the Buddha never answered questions about what a human being is, because a human being can be almost anything.

So this noble eightfold path that we’re following here is a path that gets us out of having to be identified with anything, of having to be limited to anything. That’s the skill we’re working on. 

It’s not an easy skill, but when you realize that all of the alternatives out there are difficult, then you realize that it doesn’t make much sense to focus on the difficulties of the path, for at the very least this is a path that leads to a way out."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "Freedom Undefined" (Meditations3) 

https://www.dhammatalks.org/books/Meditations3/Section0049.html

Reflections 2

I see everything that in my life as training, training to be mindful, training to be equanimity. I listened to dhamma talk by different bhikku. I started with 62 wrong views, then the law of kamma, then abdhidhamma. I converted the dhamma talks to mp3, so I can listened while I’m driving or hiking. As I understood more about dhamma, I have more peace with my surroundings. Whenever I got irritated by something, I noted it in my mind, and meditated and contemplated on it, as why I felt that way. Lots of time I found my answers, when I couldn’t find the answers, I just let myself rest, and remind myself, there are work or practice to be done here. I think do everything in daily life with mindfulness and meditation routinely really help. As I listened more to abhidhamma (one of them about the purification of ourselves), I deleted all the games and entertainment apps, except YouTube where I watched the dhamma talk. It’s hard first for me, as I was really fond of Korean drama and C-drama. But now, I’m glad I left that behind. 

Leaving the games was easy for me. 

My journey was how I found this group, and enjoy reading the dhamma posts.

Hope my experiences can help you find your way.

Reflections 3

This topic was addressed by some dharma teachers and I will try my best to convey the gist of the message:

Try letting go of the idea that you must always succeed, let go of the idea that you need to maintain mindfulness, let go of trying to remain centered and at ease in the face of irritation, anger, sensual desire, and laziness.

Let go of all these concepts of what you should be and how you should react. Let go of trying to be a certain way. LET GO. 

And just observe the mind - observe all its 'flaws' and imperfections. Just let go and observe.

What you are experiencing IS (a big IS) natural and merely a part of the process.

Reflections 4

It's normal to feel this way after you are familiar with the Buddha Dharma. So cut yourself some slack here. There are similar and different mode of cultivation for both monks and nuns and lay ppl even though the training and teachings are the same. The different conditions facing both means different mode of transport but they do get to the same destination eventually. One can't rush it. Buddha spoke of the ease of practise more favourable in a  recluse setup as the household life is crowded and dusty with many responsibilities. Yet there r many lay ppl who attained to paths and fruits. The teachings lead to the same results, though with varying speed.. AJ Chah said the right way to practise is steady practice. To progress and not regress. 

If this is visible and clearly discerned in your life as a lay follower, it shd be something to be gladdened. 

Be it a monk or nun or lay person, the practise is the steady progression of increasing wholesome states and decreasing unwholesome states, each in their own time.

Reflection 5

Patience - listen to more Dhamma talks 

Patience - practice more all postures 

Patience and more Patience 

If it was easy everybody will be enlightened .

If it was easy there will be less anger , hatred, aversion, greed and delusion in the world.

Patience , trust and more patience .

Everyday listen to Dhamma talks , everyday practice , when I fail - I’m gentle and kid towards myself - because I cultivated Patience and trust in the path.

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

#fromexperience

Reflections 6

Sorry to hear about the difficulties. Many have been there, I would think. Do you like reading? 

"Awareness alone is not enough" is a compilation of snippets from the talks and Q&As of the Burmese monk Sayadaw U Tejaniya. The way he teaches, with a focus on awareness of mind states/minds (citanupassana) in various situations, is highly compatible with the life of a householder. He was a businessman on the busy market in Yangon (then Rangoon) before becoming a monastic and later having been asked to teach. He practiced mid-business, mid-market, mid-stress, mid-depression. The Shwe Oo Min monastery is sometimes also called the Meditators' Hospital - people who get stuck with efforting through various structured ways of approaching practice are sometimes like to end up there for decompression and unlearning. I don't know if input from other Theravadin teachers is welcome here, apologies if not, but just putting it out there, as he has helped many a practitioner to reframe their practice.

 A lot of focus on Right view and Right effort.  

https://ashintejaniya.org/books-awareness-is-not-enough

Reflections 7

The four foundations of achievement (iddhipada):

Chanda — feeling an affinity for one's meditation theme.

Viriya — persistence.

Citta — intentness on one's goal.

Vimangsa — circumspection in one's activities and interests.

~ Ajahn Lee

Reflections 8

I think the fact that you realize that keeping mindfulness is difficult and identifying yourself as scattered, in itself is mindfulness, that you are travelling the right path as you are. 

Metta 🙏

ps - I cannot keep my mind centered and get carried away with emotions too 😊