“Making people happy is the giving of mettā. Caring for people, loving people, being kind to people, these are mettā.”

The Teachings of Ajahn Suchart.

29th April, 2022

“Making people happy is the giving of mettā. Caring for people, loving people, being kind to people, these are mettā.”

Question (from Malaysia): How to send mettā to our spouse/children who always have mood swing and are quick tempered? 

Than Ajahn:  Mettā is to be applied when you are with them. When you see them, instead of making them sad, you should try to make them happy, like giving them something – foods, drinks or gifts. Making people happy is the giving of mettā. Caring for people, loving people, being kind to people, these are mettā. 

You can only do this when you are with them, not when you are alone. When you are alone, you cannot send mettā to them because there is no delivery system to send mettā, in which you can sit here and then send mettā to your spouse in another place. You have to meet him or her, so you can give him or her mettā. See your wife, give her a kiss, say, ‘Hello’ or ‘How are you? I love you.’ This is mettā.

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Question (from Singapore): What should I chant to have a better relationship with my wife? 

Than Ajahn:  Metta bhāvanā, you should give her love and kindness. Then, you will have a better relationship. You should forgive her transgression or mistake. You should give her whatever she wants. 

Then, you will always be happy with her. You cannot use chanting. 

Chanting is not the solution. The solution is to treat her nice. Treat her like when it’s the first time you met her. Go back and reset your relationship to the first day when you met her. 

Then, you will have good relationship with her.

By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto

www.phrasuchart.com

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