The Teaching of Ajahn Suchart.
6 September 2023
Question from Paris: Can we be equanimous and at the same time, be loving and nice to people?
Than Ajahn: You don’t have to use them at the same time, but you have to have them with you all the time. It’s like the tools you use under different circumstances. Like a carpenter who has to have a hammer and a saw, so he can use the tools according to his needs. The 4 Brahma-vihāra: mettā, karunā, muditā, upekkhā are like tools that you use when you get involved with people. When you interact with people, you need to have these 4 traits, but you don’t use them all at the same time.
You use mettā when you meet people. You say, ‘Hello, how are you? Happy to see you’—this is mettā.
When you see a person who needs help, you help him—this is karunā. If you see someone is being successful, getting married or getting a raise, you congratulate him/her—this is muditā. And if you see a person who is sick and will die in a few days and you cannot help or do anything, then you have to have upekkhā because there is nothing you can do, so you have to make your mind calm. Don’t be sad and don’t feel guilty because there is nothing you can do for that person.
These are the 4 tools you use when you interact with people.
You have to choose how to use these tools properly. Don’t use them at the wrong time.
Instead of using mettā, you use equanimity: this is not right.
When you meet people, you don’t say, ‘Hello,’ you don’t say, ‘Hi’ because you want to be equanimous: this is not right.
When you see people who need your help, you use equanimity: this is not correct.
When you see people need help, you use karunā (compassion).
When you meet people, you show your friendliness—this is mettā. So, you have to know which tool to use.
~ Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
“Dhamma in English, Jan 23, 2019.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
www.phrasuchart.com
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