Teaching of Ajahn Suchart Abhijato
11 October 2024
Question (F): I have my own teacher in my country and I feel that I have a very strong connection with him but sometimes it seems to border on a bit of obsession. I don’t want to say ‘love,’ because that’s silly but I’m just wondering what would Ajahn suggest, should I listen to him less and I see him less or should I just watch the mind? What is the right thing?
Phra Ajahn: Yes, this is usually normal for the students to be attached to their teachers; sometimes they become possessive of the teachers and expect a lot from their teachers.
When they cannot get what they expect, they become disappointed and sad.
So, you should draw a line—you should not expect anything from your teacher, only accept what he can give you. They are just like your teachers in school or in university so don’t try to have that personal connection.
Once you have personal connection, you tend to become possessive and it can cause you a lot of anxiety and even anger when you feel that he is not treating you properly.
So, basically you have to draw the line: you should not expect anything from him more than what he can give you then this will solve the problem. If you expect more than what he can give you, you will be sad or disappointed; you can become angry with him. Ok? Just look at your teacher as someone who gives you knowledge; don’t expect anything more than that.
Sometimes you expect more—you want moral support and emotional support. Although sometimes he might give them to you that but it’s not his intention—maybe he saw that you’re feeling bad and he wanted to help you, but you shouldn’t expect from him to do it all the time.
“Dhamma in English, Oct 31, 2018.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
www.phrasuchart.com
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