AJAHN BRAHM "Don't Worry, Be Grumpy: Inspiring Stories for Making the Most of Each Moment."

AJAHN BRAHM
"Don't Worry, Be Grumpy: Inspiring Stories for Making the Most of Each Moment."

Other people will sometimes get angry with you. Even your loved ones. It happens to all of us. Some people even got angry with the Buddha! So what can you do when you are on the receiving end of someone else's rage? The answer is to be found in the following story.

A husband was enjoying an afternoon off work at home. His wife was busy preparing dinner when she realized she was short of eggs.

"Darling," she asked, "would you mind going to the market and buying some eggs for me?"

"Sure, sweetheart," he happily replied.

The husband had never been to the market before. So his wife gave him some money, a basket, and the directions to the egg stall in the middle of the market.

When he entered the market, a young man came right up to him and shouted loudly, "Hello, Camel Face!"

"What!" replied the startled husband, "Who are you calling Camel Face!?"

But that only encouraged the young man, who started abusing the husband even more aggressively, "Hey Bat Breath! Did you use dog poo for aftershave this morning? May the fleas of a thousand stray dogs infest your armpits!"

Worst of all, the husband was being yelled at in public, in the middle of the market, and he had done nothing wrong at all. He got so upset and embarrassed that he turned around and walked out of the market as fast as he could.

"You're home early darling," remarked his wife on his return. "Did you get the eggs?"

"No!" huffed her husband. "And don't send me to that uncivilized obnoxious, ill-mannered, toilet hole of a market ever again!"

Now the secret of a lasting marriage is to know how to smooth the ruffled feathers of your partner when he or she has just had a nasty experience. So his wife comforted and caressed him until the thermometer inside his heart registered a safer temperature.

Then she softly asked him what that young man looked like.

Her husband screwed up his face and, between bouts of spitting indignation, gave a description of the young man.

"Oh, him!" said his wife, concealing a chuckle."He does the same to everyone. You see, when he was a child, he fell over and hit his head. He suffered permanent brain damage, and he's been crazy like this ever since. Poor fellow, he couldn't go to school, he couldn't make any friends, he can't find a job, nor will he ever marry a nice girl and have a family. The unfortunate young man is mad. He shouts abuse at anyone and everyone. Don't take it personally."

After her husband heard that, his own indignation completely melted away. Now he felt compassion for the youth.

His wife noticed the change of heart and said, "Darling, I still need those eggs. Would you mind...?"

"Sure, sweetheart," said the husband and he returned to the marketplace.

The young man saw him coming and shouted out, "Hey! Look who's coming! Old Camel Face has returned with his bat breath! Hold your noses everyone - a pile of dog shit on legs has just oozed into our marketplace!"

This time, the husband was not annoyed. He walked straight to the egg stall with the young man following him, hurling many an insult.

"Don't mind him," said the lady selling the eggs. "He does this to everyone. He's crazy. He had an accident when he was young."

"Yes, I know. Poor boy," said the husband as he paid for the eggs. The young man followed the husband to the edge of the market, shouting ever-louder obscenities at him. But this time it never made the husband upset. Because he now knew that the young man was mad.

When you understand this story, then the next time that someone calls you terrible names, or your partner gets angry at you, just assume that they have hit their head today and are suffering momentary brain damage. For in Buddhism, getting angry at others and insulting them is called "temporary insanity."

When you realized that the person getting angry at you is temporarily insane, you are able to respond with equanimity and even compassion: "You poor thing!"

***from his book "Don't Worry, Be Grumpy: Inspiring Stories for Making the Most of Each Moment."