“As far as emotions, you cannot help your parents because emotion is a difficult support to provide.”

The Teaching of Ajahn Suchart.

24 November 2024

“As far as emotions, you cannot help your parents because emotion is a difficult support to provide.”

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Question (M): My parents are getting old. My wife and I plan to come back and live in Thailand. Is it bad action if I leave my parents in France?

Than Ajahn: If they can look after themselves, then it’s ok. But if they don’t have anyone who can look after them, then it’s your duty as the son to look after your father and mother. If you cannot do it yourself, you can hire someone to do it for you. Hire a nurse or somebody to look after them. Then, you’re still considered that you are doing your duty. You should not abandon or leave them without any support when they need support. If they need your support, you have to give them. If they can support themselves, you don’t need to support them.

As far as emotions, you cannot help your parents because emotion is a difficult support to provide. They should learn to find their own support, like doing some meditation or finding some hobbies so that they don’t have to rely on other people for their emotional support. 

Because we all have our own life to live. But physically, you have to help them. If it is a physical need and they cannot provide it for themselves, and if you can help them, you should do it. But if you cannot do it, then say, ‘what can I do?’

Question (M): Does it mean if I give them a good place to stay and ensure that they are well taken care of, it is okay if I come back to live in Thailand?

Than Ajahn: Yes. You can connect with them via video conference. Right now you can use video conference to talk to them. From time to time, you ask them how they’re doing and you do it on a regular basis.

Youtube: “Dhamma in English, Nov 9, 2018.”

By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
www.phrasuchart.com

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