Can we be equanimous and at the same time, be loving and nice to people?

The Teaching of Ajahn Suchart. 

31 December 2024

Question from Paris:  Can we be equanimous and at the same time, be loving and nice to people?

Than Ajahn:  You don’t have to use them at the same time, but you have to have them with you all the time. 

It’s like the tools you use under different circumstances. Like a carpenter who has to have a hammer and a saw, so he can use the tools according to his needs. The 4 Brahma-vihāra: mettā, karunā, muditā, upekkhā are like tools that you use when you get involved with people. 

When you interact with people, you need to have these 4 traits, but you don’t use them all at the same time. 

You use mettā when you meet people. You say, ‘Hello, how are you? Happy to see you’—this is mettā. 

When you see a person who needs help, you help him—this is karunā. If you see someone is being successful, getting married or getting a raise, you congratulate him/her—this is muditā. And if you see a person who is sick and will die in a few days and you cannot help or do anything, then you have to have upekkhā because there is nothing you can do, so you have to make your mind calm. Don’t be sad and don’t feel guilty because there is nothing you can do for that person. 

These are the 4 tools you use when you interact with people. 

You have to choose how to use these tools properly. 

Don’t use them at the wrong time. 

Instead of using mettā, you use equanimity: this is not right. 

When you meet people, you don’t say, ‘Hello,’ you don’t say, ‘Hi’ because you want to be equanimous: this is not right. 

When you see people who need your help, you use equanimity: this is not correct. 

When you see people need help, you use karunā (compassion). 

When you meet people, you show your friendliness—this is mettā. So, you have to know which tool to use.

~ Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto

“Dhamma in English, Jan 23, 2019.”

By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
www.phrasuchart.com

Latest Dhamma talks on Youtube: 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi_BnRZmNgECsJGS31F495g

Could Ajahn advice on how to counteract the defilement of self-pride and conceit?

The teachings of Ajahn Suchart. 

Question:  Could Ajahn advice on how to counteract the defilement of self-pride and conceit?

Than Ajahn:  The Buddha said that you should treat yourself like the dirt or treat yourself as the lowest being like as a servant or the earth. The earth doesn’t care who digs it, who steps on it or who pees on it—the earth doesn’t react. This is how you should try to treat yourself. You should change your attitude towards yourself.

You normally like to think of yourselves as somebody important or somebody great.

This is the wrong kind of attitude to have because it can cause you a lot of disappointment when people don’t treat you the way you think you should be treated.

It’s better to treat yourself as the lowest being so you don’t expect anything from anybody.

If people don’t treat you well, you won’t feel bad because you’ve expected it to be that way, right? So, you should play a new role. Instead of thinking of yourself as somebody important, you should think of yourself as nobody. You don’t expect anything from anybody.

You expect the worst from other people. Then, you will never be disappointed or sad.

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Question:  It is a very tricky defilement and it has a very interesting influence on the practice of meditation as there is always in the background saying, ‘Ah, you’re very good!’

Than Ajahn:  That’s right. It’s been embedded in your mind for a long time and it becomes natural for you to always think of yourself as somebody but in fact, you’re really nobody because your true nature is just the knowing. Your attitude or your thought is just the delusion that you cling to. In reality, we are nobody. We are just consciousness or awareness. That’s all we are.

And the best way for us to be is just be nobody then we will not be hurt because we don’t expect anything from anybody.

When you think that you are somebody, you expect people to treat you in a certain way.

And when they don’t treat you according to your expectation, you become sad. So, the way to handle it is by treating yourself as the lowest thing on earth, which is being the earth—the ground that you step on. Let everybody step on the ground—step on you, treat you badly. So, what? You can’t stop them if they want to treat you badly, right?  But not everybody will treat you badly.

There are good people and bad people. You cannot force them or expect them to treat you according to how you want them to treat you. So, the best way is to prepare for the worst and accept the worst if it happens, then you will not be disappointed or sad.

“Dhamma in English, Nov 26, 2018.”

By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
www.phrasuchart.com

Latest Dhamma talks on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi_BnRZmNgECsJGS31F495g

Would a Sotapana give up his life to help another person?

The Teaching of Ajahn Suchart

Question:  Would a Sotapana give up his life to help another person?

Than Ajahn:  I am not sure whether he would do it or not, but I guess it depends on the situation. His goal is more for himself than for other people; his goal is to liberate himself from suffering, he wants to go to nibbana. It depends on the situation whether he really has to do it or not. But basically he knows that he doesn’t need to do it, because he knows that the person is going to die anyway, right? So, he’d think, ‘Why should I sacrifice my life for you? You will die anyway, right? 

I have to keep my life because I still need to work, I need to practice to get to nibbāna.’ So, I don’t think he will sacrifice his life for other people.

"Dhamma in English, Dec 15, 2020."

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Question:  Would a Theravada Buddhist sacrifice his life to save another person’s life out of love and compassion?

Than Ajahn:  It depends on that individual. The person doesn’t have to be a Buddhist.

If he loves someone bad enough and is willing to give up his own life, then he would do it. So, it doesn’t have anything to do with Buddhism.

Question:  For example, would a Buddhist save a child drowning in a river while risking his own life?

Sometimes people say that so-called Mahayana Buddhism has more compassion, whereas the Theravada school is more selfish, and only concerns with his own escape from saṁsāra. Is this a misunderstanding?

Than Ajahn:  Yes, because in Theravada, we use reasons.

We use rationality more than our emotions. Why give up your life to save someone else’s life when you have to use your own life to save your own life, to salvage yourself from saṁsāra?

If you give up your life, then you miss a great opportunity to save yourself from saṁsāra.

The goal of Theravada Buddhism is to save ourselves first before we save other people. You might call this selfish but it’s the truth. If you cannot save yourself, how could you save other people?

If the Buddha did not save himself first, how could he save so many of us now? The Buddha had to become enlightened first then he could teach other people to become enlightened. If he was not enlightened and he kept teaching people, he would not be able to teach others to become enlighten because he himself had not become enlightened yet.

Question:  The very fact that Ajahn is teaching others implies compassion.

Than Ajahn:  Yes, it’s compassion with rationality. Before I started teaching, I had spent all my time teaching myself first. Once I've finished teaching myself, then I could devote the rest of my time teaching other people. If I could not teach myself first, how could I teach other people?

“Dhamma in English, Jan 30, 2021.”

By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
www.phrasuchart.com

Latest Dhamma talks on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi_BnRZmNgECsJGS31F495g

Venerable Sayalay Dipankara shares her spiritual experiences

Venerable Sayalay Dipankara shares her spiritual experiences

Someone asked me to share my spiritual experiences and how I overcame suffering in my life.

Since I was invited to speak on this topic, I will share my practice with you today.

When I was young, I liked to meditate and practice Buddhism. However, it was not easy. My parents were not interested in meditation, hence it was quite a challenge for me. 

When I was seven or eight years old, I often paid respects to the Buddha (Buddhanusati).

I practiced by myself. No teacher taught me to sit in front of the Buddha. I didn’t know what to do. I just felt very happy sitting like this. I felt that the Buddha would protect me.

Later, someone told me that I could recite the Buddhanusati with prayer beads, "itipi so bhagava...".  I just recited like this for two hours per day.

This generated happiness, peacefulness, and calmness in me. I liked that feeling.

Then, one day I had a dream, a very clear dream. I saw that there were many sentient beings in a tower. I couldn't count how many sentient beings there were. All these sentient beings only revealed their faces. 

Their heads were big but their bodies were small. I didn't know what kind of sentient beings they were.

I heard them wailing in my dream, "We are burning, we are burning, it's very hot and painful, please help us! " But in the dream I replied, "I really want to help you, but I don't know how! "

They replied, "You only need to continue your daily practice (Buddhanusati), and then spread metta (loving kindness) and share your merits with us", they taught me when I was dreaming.  I did this every day. I rushed to meditate after school. 

As I didn't want to keep all the merits to myself, I have been sharing all my merits with everyone all these years. 

After two weeks of doing so, I dreamt that these sentient beings had been liberated from their suffering. Since then, it has generated much happiness in my heart. They were now free from pain and suffering, and I knew how much pain they have endured in their lives. After I dreamt that they informed me they were free from suffering, I felt peacefulness arise in my heart, and since then I truly generated the wish to help others.

But as I didn't know how to help others, I just practiced every day like this, and continued to practice this way for 15 years. I am just sharing my own experiences, you can also practice in this way. 

Many sentient beings suffer a lot, but most people don’t want to interact with ghosts, however I feel very comfortable with them. Every time I meditate, I share my merits with them. 

Everywhere I go, I feel the sentient beings there. Oh! I am so happy that I can help them. 

Immediately, I spread loving kindness to them, hence I get along with them very well.

Sometimes during retreats, such as those conducted at some Chinese temples in Singapore, we can see ghosts interfering with meditators.

Immediately, the meditator's behavior and disposition  changes, and we can see that their characteristics resemble that of ghosts. 

Others are not sure what to do, hence they want to send these meditators to the hospital. I told them that they don’t need to be sent to the hospital. We know that beings are interfering with them.

What should we do? We don’t need to beat them or scold them. We just need to spread loving kindness: "Oh, please don’t interfere. Please listen to me. Please leave, you will get good merit", we will give them the merit.  They are very happy, and immediately they leave. So it is good if you can become friends with sentient beings who are ghosts, and slowly they will listen to you.

After changing their external appearances, these beings no longer look like human beings.

You know, because they are hungry ghosts and they want to eat, so they come over, and I ask my students to give them water from a cup. They don’t want to drink from a human's cup. So I took the cup and asked them to drink, and they started to drink, like a dog, not like a person. 

Having become ghosts and having changed their appearances, they licked the water with their tongues like dogs, this is what we can see. It is not imagination, this is what really happens in actuality in our society. You can see how much sentient beings suffer, regardless of how much we try to help, although we are all working hard to help them.

I don’t just help the beings in lower realms, I also help the Devas. Since I was seven, I have also been dedicating my merits to the devas. After I reached the age of ten, I couldn't sleep at midnight.  Every time I slept, someone would nudge me in the back, so I had to get up. As I stayed on the upper floor, I would have to go downstairs to the courtyard, where I would recite the Dhamma Chakrawattana Sutta every night, which was the first scripture taught in Varanasi. I didn't understand the meaning. 

Hence, I just opened the book and recited it while looking at the sky. I could see that many Devas were listening. I chanted it in Pali. I kept chanting, every night, for 15 years. 

I have always liked being alone since young. I didn't have many friends. I only had very few friends, regardless of whether I was in high school or university. 

I liked to stay in the room with the Devas and with the ghosts too, but I was afraid of people. I did not know why.

After I ordained, I realised human beings were very important. It is easy for human beings to understand the Dharma. No matter how much I help, ghosts cannot become arahants or attain Sottapana because their wisdom is very low and they cannot understand the Dhamma.

Therefore, I feel it's a waste of time. It might be better if I share the Dhamma with human beings. After learning, human beings can gain concentration (samadhi) ,  develop insight knowledge (vipasanna), and possibly benefit the next generation.

From then on, my thinking has changed. I stopped being fixated on helping other beings. Now, I only devote my energy to teaching humans.

Afterwards, I tried slowly to teach more human beings the Dharma. Since then, over ten years have passed. I have traveled to many countries and interacted with many people. 

Although I am very young, I wish to go to more countries and meet various people of different religions.

It is very difficult for us females to spread the Dharma in general, let alone travel to spread the Dharma. I believe that there are many Devas who are protecting me. I don’t know what kind of karma has caused me to travel to so many different places. 

Everywhere I go, people are very friendly. They take care of me. I also spread loving kindness to everyone in every country equally. I regard them as my relatives, Dharma brothers and sisters, hence I do not have any animosity towards anyone at all.

I like to practice loving-kindness very much. I spread loving-kindness to many people every day, and I don’t like to think about the faults of others. I understand the nature of human beings.

Sometimes people do bad things and criticize me.

Sometimes in my own life, I have encountered many problems, but I try to overcome them and try to forgive others. 

If you regard such as human nature, then you can forgive.

I love everyone and every sentient being, so I am always at ease. I have never accused anyone of offending me. I see everyone as equally adorable and cute. Sometimes some people want to criticize me, sometimes others want to voice their complains to me.

Regardless, from my perspective, they are all adorable and cute, in my heart I always treat them like children. 

But my practice is not perfect yet. I try to do my best every day, so it is easy for me to get along with humans without causing any problems. It's the same for all of you. One day, you will also be like mothers to the sentient beings of children, and you will also have many students in the future. You will need to teach people from different countries. Hence, this requires you to have a pure mind. If you have a pure mind, anything you see will be beautiful, there will be no negative emotions. If your mind is not pure, everything you see will be negative, this is the law of kamma at work.

--Excerpt from the Dhamma Talk at Xiangguang Temple on 05.11.13, translated by Ted.

The teachings of Ajahn Sumedho

The teachings of Ajahn Sumedho

"Another experience I learned from was the custom of washing the feet of the senior monks when they returned from the almsround. 

After they walked barefoot through the villages and rice paddies, their feet would be muddy. There were foot baths outside the dining hall. 

When Ajahn Chah would come, all the monks – maybe twenty or thirty of them – would rush out and wash Ajahn Chah's feet. 

When I first saw this I thought, 'I'm not going to do that – not me!' Then the next day, thirty monks rushed out as soon as Ajahn Chah appeared and washed his feet – I thought, 'What a stupid thing to be doing – thirty monks washing one man's feet. I'm not going to do that.' 

The day after that, the reaction became even more violent ... thirty monks rushed out and washed Ajahn Chah's feet and ... 'That really angers me, I'm fed up with it!  I just feel that is the most stupid thing I've ever seen – thirty men going out to wash one man's feet!  He probably thinks he deserves it, you know – it's really building up his ego. 

He's probably got an enormous ego, having so many people wash his feet every day. I'll never do that!'  

I was beginning to build up a strong reaction, an overreaction. I would sit there really feeling miserable and angry. I'd look at the monks and I'd think, 'They all look stupid to me. I don't know what I'm doing here.' 

But then I started listening and I thought, 'This is really an unpleasant frame of mind to be in. Is it anything to get upset about? They haven't made me do it. It's all right; there's nothing wrong with thirty men washing one man's feet. It's not immoral or bad behaviour and maybe they enjoy it; maybe they want to do it – maybe it's all right to do that ... Maybe I should do it!' 

So the next morning, thirtyone monks ran out and washed Ajahn Chah's feet. There was no problem after that. It felt really good: that nasty thing in me had stopped."

~ Ajahn Sumedho

AJAAN LEE DHAMMADHARO ON DEVELOPING DEEPER SKILLS OF VIRTUE, CONCENTRATION, AND DISCERNMENT

AJAAN LEE DHAMMADHARO ON DEVELOPING DEEPER SKILLS OF VIRTUE, CONCENTRATION, AND DISCERNMENT

“Those who are to reach the paths (magga) and fruitions (phala) leading to nibbāna will do so by way of the heart. If the heart isn’t trained, then no matter how much external goodness you may have, you won’t be able to reach nibbāna. 

Nibbāna can be attained only by training the heart in the practice of virtue, concentration, and discernment.

Virtue forms the basis for concentration; concentration, the basis for discernment; and discernment, the basis for release. Concentration is especially important because it forms the basis for discernment and intuitive understanding (ñāna), which are the crucial factors of the path. You can’t do without concentration. If concentration is lacking, you can gain nothing but jumbled thoughts and obsessions, without any sound support.

Concentration is like a nail: and discernment, a hammer. If the nail isn’t held firm and straight, the hammer will strike it only hit-or-miss, and the nail will never get through the board. 

For the heart to penetrate the world and get through to the highest Dhamma, it must take a firm stance in concentration so as to give rise to intuitive understanding. Intuitive understanding can occur only to those who have centered the mind in concentration. As for discernment, it’s something we all have, but if it lacks intuitive understanding, it can never get beyond the world.

For this reason, we should all take an interest in the factors that form the path leading beyond suffering and stress to abundant well-being…”

Ajaan Lee Dhammadharo

THE FRAMES OF REFERENCE:

I. Kāyānupassanā satipaṭṭhāna: being mindful of the body as a frame of reference.

II. Vedanānupassanā satipaṭṭhāna: being mindful of feelings as a frame of reference.

III. Cittānupassanā satipaṭṭhāna: being mindful of the mind as a frame of reference.

IV. Dhammānupassanā satipaṭṭhāna: being mindful of mental qualities as a frame of reference.

For a terrific, highly inspiring, and skillful discussion of how to use these four “Frames of Reference” by Ajaan Lee see:

Frames of Reference

Ajaan Lee Dhammadharo

Translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

~

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/lee/frames.html

Can anyone become enlightened anywhere and if so, what is the best way to attain enlightenment?

The teachings of Ajahn Suchart. 

26 April 2023

Question:  Can anyone become enlightened anywhere and if so, what is the best way to attain enlightenment?

Than Ajahn:  Enlightenment can be anywhere because the thing that becomes enlightened is the mind, not the location. And the thing that can make the mind become enlightened is wisdom, the ability to see the truth as it is.

Right now, you are not seeing the truth. You are seeing the truth according to your perception of the truth which is not the real truth. So, you have to get rid of your perception, to let the mind see the truth as it is. 

Then, you become enlightened.

You need to do a lot of meditation to clear the mind from the wrong perception.

Once you have cleared the mind from the wrong perception, then you will see that everything is impermanent – everyting rises will cease, such as the body.

Once the body is being born, it will have to die sooner or later.

If you can really see this, then you will not be afraid of death.

You will let the body be because you know that there is nothing you can do about it.

“Dhamma in English, May 16, 2018.”

By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
www.phrasuchart.com

Latest Dhamma talks on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi_BnRZmNgECsJGS31F495g