The Teachings of Ajahn Suchart.
26 January 2026
Q: can you please explain exactly what patience is and how I can continue to cultivate it in my working, living and daily life?
Mindfulness is one thing, and I understand it but patience…
Tan Ajahn: Well patience is the result of having mindfulness. Patience in Buddhism means to not react to any situations or circumstances. Just to be aware of what’s happening. Being aware when someone said something good or bad to you. But don’t react. If you don’t react then you have patience. Just remain still, not reacting. Only strong mindfulness can prevent you from reacting. When you start to react, if you have strong mindfulness, you can stop it right away.
Student: Thank you, I understand this, but I am a kindergarten teacher. So when I mean patience I mean in regards to having 15 children that are running around and I have to calm them all and get them on track and I am losing my patience.
Tan Ajahn: It’s because you’re emotional. If you react rationally it will not hurt you. The reason is you want to control them and you know that you cannot. The truth is that you cannot control them so you have to accept the truth that you can only do so much.
Control them at a certain level. But like you said before, you like to be a perfectionist. You would like to be able to control 15 children.
You need 15 teachers to control 15 children. If you are 1 against 15, you can only do so much. So just accept how much you can do.
Then you will not be frustrated or emotional.
Think rationally. I mean you have to react but reacting rationally is okay. Rationality doesn’t hurt the mind.
What hurts the mind is emotional reactions. When you become emotional.
Emotion arises from your desire to conquer, to vanquish, to suppress, and to get things under control.
But according to the Buddha, everything is not under our control. You forget this fact.
Nothing is under control. It might be under control sometimes. But not all the time. So when you reach the time that you cannot control then you have to let go.
Then you will not be frustrated or upset. You just say, “c’est la vie”, that’s life. And you can do this if you have mindfulness. Because if you don’t have mindfulness your emotions will take over right away.
But if you have mindfulness, when you feel yourself becoming emotional, you can stop it. You say, “I’m being emotional, I have to backtrack. I have to come back to rationality”.
Student: and that would be true in arguments with let’s say…
Tan Ajahn: everything, everything.
Student: okay, my spouse, my employer, everything and everyone.
Ajahn: yeah. You can stop your desire to conquer, to win, to convince or whatever. And you look at the facts, whether you can do it or not. If you can do it, then do it.
If you cannot, then just let it be.
Student: thank you.
“Dhamma in English, Q&A #36/2024.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
YouTube: Dhamma in English.
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