The Teachings of Ajahn Suchart.
1 February 2025
Q: How can I have a balance between my personal meditation practice and taking care of my children? I was meditating at a monastery for 5 weeks and my 11 year old got into a little bit of trouble when I was away.
Tan Ajahn: Well you need to give them all the time that they need. So you just have to see how much time they need from you. If you feel that when you leave them, they are in good hands or they can look after themselves, then you can leave them for awhile. But if you feel that when you leave them, they can be bad or something like that, then you may have to stay with them more.
Just look at how they behave.
Understand?
Sometimes you just have to sacrifice your own time for their benefit. Because they are still young and not able to distinguish good from bad, right from wrong. So it’s your job to teach them to distinguish good from bad, right from wrong and then you can may be leave them for awhile to see how they do alone without you. If they seem to be doing okay then may be you can leave them longer.
But now your priority is to teach them and look after them until they can look after themselves or else you will be neglecting your duty as a mother.
Okay?
In the meantime if you cannot leave them then you just have to meditate at home whenever you can. Or practice mindfulness or practice the Brahma Viharas.
When you live with people you have to practice Mettā, Karuṇā, Muditā and Upekkhā.
So that you don’t lose your precious time doing everything else but not Dhamma. So you have to change may be from not doing as much meditation to do more mindfulness and do more loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
Is that clear?
Just think it’s not too far away, just a few more years and they’ll be gone to college or something and then you probably be free to do whatever you like.
But now it’s your kamma, you are paying the consequence of your kamma, the result of your sensual pleasure cravings.
But don’t be mad or be angry under your situation, you just have to accept your fate and try to make the best out of it. You can always be happy under any situation if you just let go of your cravings and accept the status of the situation that you are in.
Okay?
Good to see you. I hope you have a strong mind and are able to cope with everything that you have to cope with
“Dhamma in English, Feb 13, 2024.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
YouTube: Dhamma in English.
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