The Teaching of Ajahn Suchart.
4 January 2025
Q: My daughter is 13yo and she has cancer since she was 9yo. She has many operations and treatment that make her body in a lot of pain. Her question is ‘Why does this happen to me? I’m a good person, I barely start my life, why life is so unfair? Why life brings so much suffering to me?’ One time I tried to use the concept of kamma to explain to her and she said, ‘Okay, I get it. I was a bad person so I don’t deserve a good life.’ Dear LuangPhor, I don’t have the wisdom to answer her, please help.
Than Ajahn: Well, the Buddha said that life is anicca.
Life is not certain. It is not fixed. It varies from person to person due to the past kamma that each person has done. If we did bad kamma in the past, we have to reap the fruit of the bad kamma in this life. If we did good kamma, we would reap the benefit of good kamma that we did. But we can’t go back and erase our past kamma. We can’t change the past. But we can still be happy with what we get by accepting things as they are.
Don’t try to reject something you don’t like because trying to reject things will cause you to have more suffering, more stress and anxiety. You can accept that this is the way things are, this is what you are given and just accept it. Then there will be no stress, and your mind can be calm, peaceful and happy. In this way, maybe you can be happier than someone who has a healthy body.
When people have a healthy body, it does not mean that they are happy inside their mind.
With a healthy body, they want to have more things, they want to do more things, and get more things. And when they can’t get what they want, they can be as unhappy as someone who is sick.
So it’s not whether your body is good or bad.
It’s how you make your mind happy or sad.
And making your mind happy or sad is something you can do regardless of the condition of your body.
The Buddha said that if you want to be happy inside, happy with your mind, then try to use wisdom. Try to accept the truth – that life is not certain, life varies from person to person; some people have a longer life, some people have a shorter life.
You can make yourself feel better if you think of people who are worse than you are like someone who is blind, someone who is more sick than you are, who has to lie in bed. If you can look at it this way then you might not feel too bad about your situation. And then you can accept the truth that you are what you are, and you can be happy regardless of what you are if you know how to let go of your attachment, your cravings or desire.
The problem that causes us to be unhappy is our desire.
We want something more than what we have. And when we can’t get what we want, we become sad regardless of whether our body is good or not good, whether we are rich or poor. This sadness is caused by our desire for things. So try not to have any desire. Try to take things as they come. Be happy with what you have, be thankful for what you get. Then you can be happy.
No matter how well or sick we are, one day, we are all going to be at the same point, at same place – we all will go to the cemetery.
It’s just a matter of time, sooner or later.
That’s all. If you can think like this, you can release the pressure in your mind and it can make you feel better.
You can be happy right now. Just stop your desire. And the way to do it is to learn how to meditate. Just sit down, close your eyes and watch your breath. Keep watching your breath. Don’t let your mind thinks about anything. If you don’t think, then you won’t have any desire for things. And when you don’t have desire, your mind can become peaceful and happy.
So meditate. Be happy that you can still walk, you can still do things because we don’t know when we are going to die. I might die tomorrow, I might go before you. Your parents may go before you even though they are healthy right now, but who can say how long they are going to live? Nobody can guarantee that.
Try to stay in the present. Be happy in the present.
Don’t worry about the future. Don’t worry about the past. You can’t go back to the past, you can’t erase or change the past.
And the future hasn’t come yet. What you’ve got is right now, in the present. So try to make the best of it by keeping your mind happy, by not having any desire.
Just take things as they come.
“Dhamma in English, Aug 4, 2024.”
By Ajahn Suchart Abhijāto
YouTube: Dhamma in English.